Relationships can sometimes be both emotionally and physically costly, especially if you are in a toxic relationship with a partner who is narcissistic. But what is a narcissistic behavior? Well it’s not only a behavior but a personality disorder. Here is how Mayoclinic defines it:
Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
As for you; The other party in this relationship will make you feel that you are making a wasted effort all the time, giving and not taking, while the other party does not even feel that you are giving, and the giving does not see kindness from you but rather sees it as a duty to you, and this may make you doubt the existence of love. But dear, the problem is not in you or in your view of love and giving, but in the narcissist you are dating or befriending.
The real problem is that narcissists do not know the truth of their personality, but they show traits and repeat behaviors that are signs that they can pick up from the beginning of the relationship.
Once you learn to read these signs, you will quickly be able to realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship and start planning your exit strategy.
6 Signs that tell you are in a relationship with a narcissist:
1- They will make you feel like your dream partner
Narcissists think they are special and deserve only the best. If they choose to date someone, this person should also be special. They start to drown you with a flood of feelings of love and interest, even if you were introduced to them a very short time ago.
If you become very close to them, it may seem like everything is going well. However, this is a standard narcissistic strategy called “love-bombing” that aims to persuade you and influence you until you are unable to abandon them.
Always remember: what comes easily, goes easily. True love requires time and effort, and it does not come easily and abundantly from the first moment like prepacked products, so do not be fooled by the “beauty of the beginnings”, this is in order to be in a relationship with a narcissist who may destroy your confidence and appreciation of yourself.
2- You have to praise them constantly to keep them happy
Once the “bombing you with love” phase is over, things take a sharp turn left, according to the signs reported by the American website, The Good Men Project . The narcissistic partner controls most of the talks, and the majority of the talks will be about himself. If you try to change the subject you will be in trouble.
This is due to the fact that narcissists value themselves as better than everyone else, but at the same time this feeling of self is very fragile, so they need verification and external assurance that someone else is orphaned.
Once you stop praising them every moment and position they start feeling panicked. This is evident in accusations such as “You do not care about me”, “You no longer love me” or “You are no longer attracted to me,” which automatically leads you to resume praise and praise.
3- They ignore your feelings over and over again
One of the most common complaints of narcissistic abuse victims is the constant indifference of the narcissistic partner towards the feelings of the other side. Every time you try to share your feelings, whether sad or angry, you will be met with indifference or boredom.
The main reason for this lack of sympathy is that you do not reach your feelings to influence them. The narcissist is so deeply immersed in his own love that he has no motive to hold back the love of anyone else.
However, there is evidence that narcissists are able to sympathize with others, but they do not wish to do so, and this neglect alone is worthy of telling you that you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
4- Manipulating you to always be the wrong party
One of the hallmarks of narcissists is their ability to change your perception of reality. They weave stories, perform tricks and whisper in words until you find yourself offering them a new apology. This type of behavior is called “gaslighting” and is practiced by a narcissist repeatedly, so that it leads you to a point where you always suspect yourself and your decisions.
You will often wonder if you are very sensitive and if you are really wrong? Your confidence will weaken and you discover that you no longer trust the comfort of your mind. Lack of self-esteem and constant frustration nourish the narcissist’s arrogance and enhance their strength and sense of self. They try to break down your sense of self in order to feel superior and superior.
It is important to realize that the relationship is unhealthy if you have to deal with anxiety and caution with your partner, as if you were walking on eggshells.
5- Feeling that they deserve everything
Your narcissistic partner feels in your relationship with him that he “deserves” something that he has not won. Instead of behaving like normal adults and doing their work, narcissistic figures feel this is not appropriate for them, and they insist that someone else take over that task, according to another sign reviewed by the American journal Psychology Today .
We often see this in relationships where one of the partners refuses to accept a job, even if he is in a tight financial situation. Likewise, if you are in a relationship with someone who suffers from narcissism, it will often sound to you like a child who is making outbursts of anger to attract attention.
Generally speaking, narcissists may exhibit strange and selfish behavior in an attempt to get what they want if they do not feel enough attention, money, support, love, etc.
6- An endless separation attempt
The magic of narcissistic characters will eventually pass away. Their manipulative behavior negatively affects your psyche and you will find yourself ready to end the relationship with them and leave forever.
But as soon as you start to get away from them, they get scared. Narcissists cannot deal with abandonment because it is a sign that they are undesirable. When a situation comes that detracts from a narcissist’s sense of perfection and advantage, they resort to attacking you harshly.
They will avenge themselves to satisfy their humiliating pride and try to save face by reprimanding and critically accusing them. They may decide to enter into a new relationship immediately after separation and promote their happy new relationship, where they deliberately do everything they refuse to do with you. The ultimate goal is to make you feel remorse for letting them go.
In the end, they may reappear in your life and appear willing to restore relations with you. They will seek songs of change and self-improvement, but never be convinced. If in doubt, go back to the point where the relationship began to realize the truth. This is exactly what they did from the beginning.
You will never be able to please them because they do not feel good inside. Once you end your relationship with them, do not come back in contact with them and do not offer them a second chance to harm you emotionally and emotionally.
If you are or are still in an abusive narcissistic relationship, leave immediately and seek help. You should start the healing process from the effects of that toxic relationship as soon as possible. It may be difficult but necessary. Begin rebuilding yourself with awareness, understanding and self-love.